A bunch of Fruits in DISEC….

Breibart News
New York
J.Jcruickshank

“Evidence is fruit!” The Russian delegate has declared. While the whole delegation with the notable exception of Israel (more to this later), were providing examples of Russian cyber interference , Russia was busy counting fruit. The Russian delegate, in his loud, clear and very thick American accent retorted, “Comparing the examples is like comparing apples, pineapples, pears, oranges!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *RAWR*”. A nice fruit mince or fruit salad – take your preference. Yet as Breibart pointed out to Ms. Merkel in the G20 conference: apples, pineapples, pears, oranges are all fruit. 

Concern it would seem be on the welfare of the North Korean himself and his demi-god, the supreme leader.  North Korea seem quite emotional throughout proceedings, asking for many apologies to the deep, irreversible damaged caused by hearing a difference of opinion. The state of the supreme leader was even more concerning. Three stages we learnt this extra supreme leader goes through:

• Fists
• Liquid
• a tissue box

No further information was provided.

Moving on….

In later proceedings a rare, witty moment came from North Korea that brought much happiness into the room. In reaction to Russia’s circularity,  the delegate for North Korea retorted, ” the faceless men of Russia” (trust me it was slightly funnier in real life).

Israel’s agreeableness with Russia caused much suspicion. A direct question was asked to the Israeli delegate on whether he was a ‘bed-fellow’ with the Russia.

5 minutes elapsed before we got a definitive ‘No’.

 

Europe is Dead.

Breibart News
New York
J.Jcruickshank

Europe has bent over to Marine Le Pen’s thrusting force –  declaring itself as the “peasants to France”. While some on the delegation thought that was an ironic way of letting pass Le Pen’s childish ways, the rest of us know that Europe is indeed dead. Oh Europe! Force of liberalism and the birthplace of democracy we will look back at your proud history through a rose veil. Yet Europe has turned into a hunched back old hag with little hope of straightening up. This was seen clearly in the ‘discussion’ of immigration where ended up agreeing with eachother. There is no fight  – Europe has given up…

Germany screams at the top of their lungs: Whats going on !?!?

Breibart News
New York
J.Jcruickshank

For all those who don’t the reference:

The German chancellor, Angela Merkel woke up and asked, “What’s going on?”. While the other delegates were discussing the topic of the TPP and economic liberalisation, Angel Merkel was heard humming to the chant of 99luftballoons. Breibart Media recognises that this is an extremely catchy song, but finds this unprofessional of Ms. Merkel.  Merkel begun by stating that comparing the TPP to the Beijing economic policy is like “apples and oranges”. Breibart would like to remind Ms. Merkel that these are both fruit….

Other delegates, most notably Russia entitled their fellow ally, China, as the “protector of Human Rights”. Yet, one of the most fundamental human rights is that of religious expression and speech, do I need to say anymore? The delegate was right to put out that 400 million Chinese have been lifted out of poverty. Unfortunately for this narrative this coincidence with neoliberal economic policies of the 1970s/80s in particular the “Chinese Open Policy” and the “Beijing Consensus”.  It is any wonder that Germany still thinks that China is the Maoist, socialist state it once was….

 

 

 

 

Inter-faith relations: Cuba and Saudi Arabia christen themselves as guardians of Religious Freedom

New York
Breibart News
J.Jcruickshank

One historically Catholic and the other the birthplace of Islam, Cuba and Saudi Arabia didn’t realise they were sharing the same bed.

Cuba has come a long way since 1959.  Decades suppression of religious freedom by the Communist regime has converged to an important declaration by the Cuban delegation in the Human Rights Council: Religious statues need protection during warfare. An atheist regime telling religious statues they need protection? Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised at all. Nonetheless,  while during a meeting with the current Pope, the leader of Cuba, Raul Castro, has alluded to returning back to Catholic Mass – the Cuban delegation seems miles ahead.

 

Cuba was joined by, none-less then Saudi Arabia in promoting itself as a voice of Religious Freedom.  “The religious bodies of our country need regulation!”, the Saudi delegate declares, “this is our fight against radical fundamentalism!”. On the question of whether churches  can be built on Saudi land, the Saudi delegate declared, “No!  this land was sacred to Islamic heritage!”. While the Saudi peoples continue to enjoy the economic benefits of thousands of Philippine and Indonesian domestic workers – many of whom are Christian, the rest of us are wondering why they are on the Human Rights council discussing religious freedom.